


i'll mourn you when you go

by milkysvngie



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alpha Shim Jaeyun, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a sad ending, Bottom Yang Jungwon, Character Death, Death, Discussion of Abortion, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Mpreg, Murder, Omega Yang Jungwon, Rape/Non-con Elements, Shim Jaeyun is a piece of shit, Smut, Top Shim Jaeyun, Violence, Yang Jungwon cries a lot, accidental murder, idk guys its just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:49:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkysvngie/pseuds/milkysvngie
Summary: jungwon had to pay for jake's mistakes.or jungwon gets pregnant after his boyfriend didn't use protection and the downfall begins.
Relationships: Sim Jaeyun | Jake/Yang Jungwon
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	i'll mourn you when you go

"jake, are you sure-"

"yes" the older man said, thrusting his hips harder, faster.

"but i can-"

"yes i did, jungwon, shut the fuck up" he growled.

"it's- it's inside, i can feel your cum inside me, are you sure-"

"jungwon shut the fuck up, i wore the fucking condom, okay? just shut up and take it like a good boy" at shim's words the younger bit his bottom lip not to make any more sound.

he trusted jake, he would never lie to him, especially about something like this. it was about their safety, he would never risk it, right?

of course he wouldn't, jake said he used protection and jake would never lie to him.

+×+

he shouldn't have trusted jake.

the changes came slowly, gradually. he didn't notice at first, he thought he just caught a stomach bug, which wouldn't really be that surprising, his mother's cooking was nothing near good and she made him eat as she always did.

"you're already a weak omega, you have to eat not to be completely dependent on everyone around you" she would say before placing a big plate of her disgusting food in front of him.

jungwon couldn't say his parents didn't accept what he presented as. they were surprised of course, they were both alphas, it only made sense he presented as one too. sadly, nature loved to play tricks and there he was. one of not many omegas in his alpha dominant family. his parents' disappointment even if they never said it to his face.

but he knew and he wasn't mad. he would rather be an alpha so much more too.

he was so sure earlier. he loved to hear from his family members or his close friends how mature he was, how well he led the group, how good of an alpha he will be when he finally presents. he bathed in the praises, took everything with such pleasure. loved to think about himself as an alpha.

but then the bubble burst. at the age of fifteen he presented, not as an alpha like everyone expected, wanted. not even a beta. he presented as omega, a weak, little omega created only to be bred and used. his mother cried, he heard her sobbing that night, even if she smiled at him and congratulated him for finally presenting just a couple of hours earlier. he knew she was disappointed, but it was okay.

that's what he told himself even if he knew it wasn't okay at all.

at first he wanted to show everyone that he wasn't a stereotypical omega. he wasn't weak, dumb, a slut to bred. that's what he believed.

the truth turned out to be different.

his body started to accommodate the possibility of getting pregnant. his hips started getting wider which made every alpha look at him with their disgusting smirks. building muscles was so hard, harder than before, his body refused to become bulkier until he finally gave up on trying. his scent was sweet, like popsicles and daisies, he could smell it all the time, there was no way to get rid of it. alphas liked his smell.

and it wasn't like he didn't get affected by them too. he did, very much. he sometimes could get so wet by only talking to an alpha with a pretty smell and with time it became harder and harder to hide.

he tried to break the stereotype, but he wasn't able to. he was indeed only a weak stupid omega made for being bred.

he accepted that and stopped pretending he's not. with the acceptance came a lot of things. he finally could breath without trying to convince himself and everyone around him he was someone that he really wasn't, he could surrender to his instincts.

he could finally stop pretending that alphas' charms didn't work on him. he stopped acting so hard to get, he gave in.

it wasn't the smartest idea, but he didn't think about consequences back then. he was stupid, the need of being accepted by someone too strong. he wanted an alpha who would be there for him, who will keep him safe, even if his mother kept repeating that he shouldn't rely on others. his omega didn't want to worry about this, it just wanted a strong alpha and jungwon was weak to its wants. he didn't want to act strong anymore.

then he met jake, a new student who just moved in from australia. an alpha, pretty good looking with such a beautiful and strong smell of gasoline. he was exactly jungwon's type.

he was tall, bulky, he knew how to dress. black hair, longer than most of the boys he knew wore theirs. every time jake was playing football and it got wet with his sweat he would comb it back with his hand, he always looked breathtaking doing this, jungwon couldn't take his eyes from him. he also had plump lips and a big nose which suited his face perfectly.

and he was so kind. so understanding. he never was brazen, rude, never expected anything back from jungwon when he did something for the younger. he let him control the pace which made yang fall in love even harder.

jake was such a good manipulator.

jungwon could still remember so well how suddenly shim's delicate touches became harsh. how his words stopped being spoken with a happy and smooth tone and how he started using his alpha voice so often to make the younger do something for him. how he stopped using pet names, switching to his name all of sudden.

these were really trivial things, his mind was telling him, but he couldn't help but feel hurt. jake claimed to love him, did he stop? so suddenly? jungwon couldn't believe it.

that's why he didn't do anything.

he also didn't do anything when jaeyun took his virginity.

it wasn't a good experience. it hurt, jake didn't even pay much attention to stretching him so he could take his cock without feeling like he's being ripped apart. he heard that the first time wasn't that good of an experience in general, but should it really be that bad? was bleeding normal? was he supposed to feel like he's hyperventilating because the pain was so bad?

yes, he was. that's what jake said and jake would never like to him, right?

it became the routine. the older man stopped being nice, stopped being understanding, stopped taking care of his boyfriend. he suddenly became a ruthless man who only wanted to use jungwon's body for his own pleasure. was that what he was made for?

yes. that's what jake said and jake would never lie to him, right?

of course he wouldn't, he was his alpha, he promised to mate him when he's finally old enough. he claimed him. he always made sure that his scent was palpable on the younger's body. all because he loved him.

after some time, yang stopped hating the fast pace of jake's thrusts. it wasn't enjoyable, but he could take it. he had to take it, he was made for it. made for satisfying the older's needs.

homewer, he never had sex without protection. not before that one unlucky night.

and now he was paying the consequences of jake's action. it wasn't new, but it still hurt.

+×+

just a dozen of days after he and jake slept with each other he woke up with an urge to throw up. it was so strong he barely made it to the bathroom. he didn't think anything about it just yet. it happened before, nothing new.

what was concerning was the fact that it happened not once or twice. it started happening every day for more than two weeks. it scared him, he had no idea what could cause the continuous urge to throw up.

he also started having huge mood swings. at first he thought that maybe his heat was about to come earlier, but he was waiting and waiting and it never came.

and then it started being late.

jungwon saw the changes in his body, he saw the weight gain, he felt the pain in his chest, he saw the thick mucus on his panties every time he went to the toilet. he noticed how easy it was to get tired, so much easier than before.

he knew.

he didn't want to admit it to himself. he was convinced that it was another joke nature was playing on him. there was no way, jake used a condom.

he did, right?

he did. that's what jake said and jake would never like to him, right?

he tried to convince himself, but it didn't change the fact that the changes were clear.

he didn't tell anyone. no one asked why he wore oversized hoodies in summer. they kept telling how cute his chubby cheeks were, how the weight gain complimented him.

they didn't know the truth, that's why it was beautiful to them. jungwon knew and thought it was disgusting.

he was playing around with it until he finally decided to get a pregnancy test. he was so scared even if he already knew what it was going to say.

he didn't buy it himself, of course not. his parents knew so many people, they would instantly find out and they couldn't. they were the last people jungwon wanted to tell. he didn't want to disappoint them even more.

he asked a random woman on the street to buy it for him. she looked at him with so much pity, he thought he's going to just start sobbing in the middle of the street.

and just an hour later he was sitting on the cold tiles in his bathroom. his hands grabbing his hair harshly, pulling them hard to the point some stayed in his palms. he was hyperventilating, it was so hard to catch his breath. his sobs were heartbreaking, so loud and full of pain.

he didn't let the information register in his brain before, he had it in the back of his mind, but he didn't pay attention to it unless someone asked an uncomfortable question, but now there was no way. there was no way to reject the fact that he was indeed pregnant.

he was pregnant.

he was carrying something inside him, just under his heart.

he started sobbing even harder, kicked the pregnancy tests, which were still showing the stupid little pluses, so he didn't have to look at it anymore.

his head was full of thoughts. what will people think? what will his parents say? what will jake do?

exactly, jake. everything was the older's fault, if he wasn't selfish he would use the protection and nothing would ever happen. jungwon wouldn't be struggling to catch a breath, he wouldn't have to humiliate himself and ask a random person to buy him a pregnancy test. his face wouldn't be covered in tears and snot.

this time jake had to take responsibility for his actions. this time jungwon will have it his own way.

+×+

at least that's what he believed. he was a fool.

he was so dumb for thinking that jake will want to do anything with him after he finds out.

"jake hyung, please… we really need to talk first" jungwon whispered.

he was at the older's house, his parents at work, as always, which meant they were alone.

he wanted to just talk with the older, but at the same moment he crossed the threshold of the mansion he felt shim's hand on his body.

he grabbed the younger's waist which stopped him from moving, he was too weak to get out of jake's embrace.

a stupid little weak omega who was only made for being breed indeed.

he felt the older's lips on his beck, nibbling at the sensitive skin, making him bite his lip not to get any sound out of himself.

he came there to talk and that's what they were going to do. his own way.

"hyung, please, i want to talk first" he begged, but shim didn't react the way the younger one wanted.

instead, he started sucking on the skin harder, just below his scent glands. he knew jungwon was sensitive there and he wanted to use it.

at first yang gave in. his eyes rolled to the back of his skull and quiet moans were escaping his lips. jake almost won.

almost, because when the younger felt jae's smirk against his skin he realized that it wasn't what he came there for.

he regained all strength he had in his little body and pushed shim so he wasn't attached to him anymore.

the older was surprised at first, but masked it with anger. jungwon saw his eyes shine with beautiful red color, his teeth were on display. the frown was scary, but yang couldn't give up that easily.

he wanted to keep at least the crumbs of his dignity.

"alpha, please. we have to talk, it's important" he knew that calling jake by his status made him a little weak, so he decided to use it.

the fight wasn't fair so jungwon had to try every tactic. he could do nothing but try and hope jake will act like a responsible adult.

the older rolled his eyes, but finally sat down on the sofa, looking expectantly at yang.

"what do you even want to talk about?" he asked and glared at the younger.

he didn't pay attention to his appearance that often, but now, sitting in front of the younger one, he noticed some changes. first of all yang's hair was long, longer than he always wore, his bangs coming into his eyes, making it hard to see the beautiful irises. his hair was also matted and full of colts, like he didn't wash it in a couple of days. he looked paler, his cheeks didn't have the usual pink tint to them, his lips were chapped. he looked lower and noticed that the younger was wearing a thick hoodie even it was over thirty degrees outside. he looked chubbier than jake remembered.

"did you gain weight?" he finally asked, not really caring about the fact that the younger was just about to say something.

whatever was holding jungwon from falling apart broke in the same exact moment the words left the older's lips.

he told himself earlier that no matter what happens he will stay strong, he will not cry in front of the older. not anymore. he was tired of crying, of pitying himself. he had to stay strong. for himself.

and most importantly for the baby he was carrying in his stomach.

his plan crumbled when he heard jake asking that stupid question he has been asked so many times the past month. he felt his eyes getting teary, his lip trembling.

he needed something to hold on, he wanted someone to embrace him, to tell him that everything will be okay, that all of this is just a bad dream, that he will wake up soon and his life will be back to normal. that his boyfriend would look at him with love and adoration, not with surprise and pity.

but it won't happen, because that was the cruel reality. that was what jungwon's life has become. a mess of tears, pity and fear.

"can you…" he started, hoping his boyfriend will do one thing for him. one little thing. "can you hug me?" he asked, his voice so quiet jake almost didn't hear him.

jungwon knew that his boyfriend wasn't a bad person. he was just lost inside his own head, but he was good. he knew it, he believed it.

but jungwon was naive and stupid, he believed in a lot of things, that's why he got disappointed in people so often.

and jake was not a difference.

"what?" shim asked, frown adoring his face. his handsome face jungwon loved to look at every time he woke up, but now he only saw a bad person who was slowly ruining his life, not even knowing about it. "you literally told me to stop touching you, because you wanted to talk" he rolled his eyes and yang felt more tears coming into his eyes.

"i know, just… i'm so scared" he whispered again and lowered his gaze so he was looking at the fluffy carpet.

"what made you so scared?" jaeyun asked.

he was angry, jungwon could hear it in his voice. he was on the edge, one word from just getting up from the sofa and throwing himself at him, not caring about his protests and pleading to stop touching him.

he didn't want to risk anything, he didn't want to leave the older's house with bruises tonight. now he didn't have to worry only about himself, there was another human inside him, growing, hoping for love and acceptance from his parents.

how much jungwon hoped he could give it to that little living.

"jake… there's something you need to know, i-it may change our relationship a little… i just want to let you know t-that i love you, you're one of the most important people in my life and i don't know where i would be if it wa-" he was trying to say, but he suddenly got cut off.

"jungwon, what the fuck are you talking about?"

it made jungwon stop in his tracks. exactly. what was he even doing? he was rambling, jake hated when he did that. how was he supposed to tell him he's going to be a father soon when he made him angry with his stupidity?

but jungwon was tired of hiding and running away. he had to do it in that moment. he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. he couldn't look at the older, he was too scared to see his reaction.

"i'm pregnant" he whispered.

the heavy silence came. at first jungwon thought that maybe jake didn't even hear him, but then he looked up. the older one looked like he just saw a ghost. he was suddenly so pale, eyes and mouth wide open, looking at yang with a mix of anger and anxiety.

"you're what?" he asked, his voice almost getting caught in his throat.

it was calm before the storm, jungwon could see how the older's hands were tightening, his nails digging into his skin. he saw his chest rising and falling faster than usual, a sign of anger.

"i'm pregnant jake" he said again, more firmly this time.

for a second he thought that maybe it will be okay, that maybe jake will be fine with that, they will be mates and raise the pup together. he was so stupid for thinking like this, so naive.

before he could say anything else he felt a hand colliding with his right cheek. he looked at his boyfriend with fear. no matter how angry he was he never punched the younger in the cheek, he always repeated how precious and pretty his face was, how he would never hurt it.

"you're a fucking liar!" the older screamed, not paying attention to won's teary eyes which looked at him with so much fear. pathetic.

he came closer to the younger, his arm already lifted, ready to leave another slap on the younger's cheek, threatening. "what the fuck do you want from me? my money?! of course a little bitch like you would try to trick me, pathetic omega, your parents stopped giving you anything, right? finally decided to let you die" he chuckled, but there was no happiness in there. "i'm not fucking stupid" he finished and finally let his arm down, meeting the younger's cheek again.

jungwon didn't even react, the older's words not making any sense in his foggy brain, he only understood what was happening when he felt another punch. this time in his stomach.

he left out a screech. "n-no! not my s-stomach!" he begged and got on his knees, protectively holding his still mostly flat stomach. "n-not my baby" he whispered, mostly to himself, but jake heard him and got even angrier.

"what the fuck are you talking about, jungwon?! you're not fucking pregnant, stop lying, i'm not going to give you anything, do you get it?!" he shouted and took a step back from the younger who started sobbing once again.

jake took a deep breath and even more anger came into his body. he screamed a bunch of incoherent sentences and when the anger was still buzzing inside him he swung his arm and punched the wall.

he could feel the hard surface scratching his knuckles, but he didn't care. he punched it again and again until he saw blood oozing down his forearms. he left another scream and grabbed the vase that was standing next to him. he turned around and threw the object in jungwon's direction.

luckily, he missed, the glass collided with a wall and broke just next to the younger who was still clutching his stomach, while trying to calm down his breathing.

the truth was that jake knew jungwon wasn't lying. he could smell it. yang's scent changed, it was sweeter, a little bit of baby powder was now palpable. he had no idea how he didn't feel that earlier, but now it was obvious. jungwon was pregnant and he wouldn't be able to lie about it.

he took another deep breath and started to come closer to his boyfriend, who was shaking from the fear. he kneeled in front of him and circled his arms around the smaller one's shoulders, bringing him closer.

jungwon had his still stinging cheek pressed against the older's chest. he could hear his heartbeat, which calmed him down. his breath was slowly coming back to normal while the older was delicately swinging their bodies, kissing his forehead from time to time.

"jungwon… i'm begging you, tell me it's not mine" jake finally whispered into the younger's ear.

"y-you're the only one jakey… you're my a-alpha" he said but, his voice was full of pain.

"are you sure? maybe you slept with someone else, please tell me the truth, it can't be mine, jungwon, it can't" jake's voice was shaking.

yang was pretty sure it was the first time he heard shim being so… vulnerable, so sad and scared. he could tell he's on the verge of crying without even looking at him.

jungwon felt so bad, he wished he could say it wasn't his, he saw how much jake didn't want it, but there was only one truth. the baby was jake's.

"please tell me it's not mine, i won't be mad at you for sleeping around" the older begged and the first tear slipped from his eye.

"you claimed me, hyung… no other alpha even looked at me since" yang whispered, he felt a big lump creating in his throat.

he couldn't stop himself, but started sobbing again. this time he didn't hear screams, he felt gentle hands grabbing his cheeks and lips against his, leaving a sweet peck.

he opened his eyes and saw jake's face, he looked at him so softly, jungwon swore he could see love in his eyes.

he felt like he did a couple of months ago, where he and jake just started dating. the older one was so sweet and gentle back then. he always looked at him with so much adoration, just like now.

"shh, baby, don't cry, it's okay" he said and kissed the younger's forehead again. "i… i have some money saved, it should be enough to get an abortion. no one will know, i promise, not even our parents, i'll take care of everything, you don't have to stress ab-" jake was explaining, but got interrupted by the younger.

"a-abortion?" he needed to make sure. he was looking at the older with wide eyes.

"we can't keep it, baby" jaeyun said and left another peck on his lips.

"b-but…"

"there's no buts, jungwon, we can't keep it" shim presumed. "baby look… we are still young, you didn't even finish highschool yet. none of us have a job, we won't be able to raise it. our parents won't help us, we will be left with nothing, do you really want to end up on the streets?"

"i-i don't want to kill them… m-maybe we will just give them away to someone so they will be happy" yang whispered, hoping his boyfriend will agree to his idea.

"you want to give birth? you want to wait another couple of months? you'll get so big, your smell will change even more. everyone is going to know, jungwon… you know what they're going to say? they're going to call you names, they're going to spread rumors about you, saying how much of a slut you are. stupid pregnant omega without a mate. how about your family? do you think they will be proud of you? you're going to disappoint them even more, jungwon. do you really want that? do you want to be known as an omega slut who can't keep his legs closer, who got pregnant by a random alpha-"

"y-you're not a random alpha, you're my boyfriend, jake, i love you, i-"

"sweetheart, i'm not going to admit it's mine" the older said, voice still calm, even if he yang saw some anger in his eyes again. "they're going to be so mean, wonnie… they're going to treat you worse than an animal… and then when you give it away, they will be even worse, saying how you couldn't even fulfill your responsibility of an omega, they're going to destroy you, baby. do you want to end up on the streets? all alone? hungry and dirty? i care for you, i love you so much, that's why i don't want anything like this to happen to you" he explained and left another peck on the younger's lips.

"i-i don't care, i don't wanna kill them…"

"jungwon for fucks sake, stop talking about it as if it's anything but a clump of cells!" he scoffed, but just a second later his face came back to being calm and maybe a little indifferent. "do you really want to risk your entire life for something you're gonna give away just a second after spending hours of excruciating pain to try and get out of yourself? you can't be serious right now, stop being stupid, jungwon. you know that abortion is the best option in your situation."

"i want to-"

"why are you so selfish, jungwon? do you not understand that you won't only ruin your own life but also mine?" jake asked and in that exact moment yang saw tears on the older's face. he never saw him cry before. "what about me, jungwon? what about my life? i wanted to get a degree, find a stable job first. not for myself, but for you, baby. i wanted to marry you one day, make you mine, my pretty omega. then, when we are old enough i wanted to have kids with you, beautiful little replicas of you. i won't be able to do that when i don't have a roof over my head. why are you trying to ruin it? why are you so selfish, jungwon? even after everything i've done for you? i won't be able to protect you" he took a moment to wipe his tears. "did you lie when you told me you love me?"

"of course not! i love you so much j-jake, why don't just believe me, why-"

"then start acting like this! why are you trying to ruin me?! why can't you just stop being selfish for a second and do that for me! i'm asking you for one small thing… and you can't even do this for me, that's not how love is supposed to work…"

"b-but it's my baby, i-"

"and it's mine too! and i don't want it to hurt, jungwon. i don't want it to either grow up on the streets or with a random family who will never love it, because it's not theirs! maybe if you weren't so selfish you'd realize that…" jake said and when he finished he brought the younger's body closer to his own so he could hold him tight. "the decision is yours, but i want you to consider everything that i just told you" shim whispered into his ear.

another wave of heartbreaking sobs went through jungwon's weak body.

he had no idea what to do.

+×+

jake didn't contact jungwon for the next three weeks. he was just waiting for one message saying the younger was ready.

the fact that his rut was close didn't help his case. he was on edge, just wanted to scream at the younger until he finally agreed to his plan.

his ruts were always brutal, often leaving jungwon in the pool of his own blood, making a mess from his body. jake knew he wouldn't be able to handle it himself and there was no way he could ask someone else to help him.

he had a reputation to hold. if someone found out he fucked a random omega on his rut they would start to investigate and would find out about won's pregnancy. jake couldn't let that happen.

he was so mad at the younger, he was wasting the time, he could be finished with the healing process by now if he wasn't so stubborn. he should be happy that jake gave him a choice.

because of his selfishness he even refused to help jake with his rut when he asked. he was so close to just going to the younger's house and beat him up, but he couldn't, he had to act like a loving boyfriend, there was a bigger chance jungwon will finally agree to his idea.

"my rut will start next week" shim said, he especially called his boyfriend after three weeks to tell him.

"o-oh" jungwon answered, he didn't sound enthusiastic.

"what do you mean 'oh'?" he sighed.

"i-i don't think it's a good idea for me to help you… you-" the younger hesitated before taking another deep breath and continuing. "you can't control yourself, i-i'm scared to hurt the b-baby…"

"jungwon" jaeyun called and closed his eyes. he was tired of hearing his boyfriend talking about this… thing inside him.

"i know! i know, jake, just… please, give me more time" yang said and a tear slipped from his eye.

"jungwon i already told you we can't wait for so long! people will know soon, your scent is sweeter and you're getting bigger and bigger each day!" he hissed. "you're such a bad omega, not caring about your alpha at all" he made his voice sound sad. "i really believed you when you said you loved me, jungwon…"

"i love you! i love you the most jakey, i'm sorry that i can't show you that, but please… please, please, please, give me one more week" yang begged, a sob trying to leave his mouth.

that was the only thing he seemed to do for the past two months, just cry and beg.

"my rut will be over next week" jake mumbled.

"i'm so sorry, i really-" jungwon tried, but he was quickly interrupted.

"whatever jungwon, i hope it all will be worth the pain you caused me" he said and quickly ended the call.

"so sorry" the younger whispered to himself after he saw his boyfriend hang on on him.

he pressed his face to the pillow and started sobbing once again, hands clutching his stomach. it was his new habit. his hands just flew to his stomach everytime he was in a stressful situation, as if the little living inside him could help him with all of his problems.

the worst thing was that his baby was the biggest problem.

+×+

jake couldn't calm himself for the past twelve hours. it was hard to breathe, his insides felt like he was going to vomit all of them soon, his skin was burning. all he wanted was to scrap at it until he was bleeding.

his rut came.

the pain was slowly going away after a couple of hours, adrenaline and desire to destroy someone slowly replaced it. he felt his cock getting hard, uncomfortably fitting in his tight jeans.

he quickly took them off and reached for the lube package he always kept on his bedside table. he poured the liquid on his hard length, hissing at the cold feeling against his hot skin.

he grabbed the base and started to slowly move his hand up and down, tightening it more the closer to the head his hand was. he threw his head back and closed his eyes. his chest was rising and falling in a quick pace.

he tried to imagine that the tightness surrounding his length was jungwon's ass. he bit his bottom lip and let out a groan, his hips started to move. he was thrusting inside his fist, but the feeling wasn't even a little bit satisfying.

he finally groaned, stilling his hips and taking his fist from his cock. he was just laying, taking deep breaths and looking at the ceiling, until the pain started again. he needed a release, but there was no way his hand would be enough.

before he could think what he's doing he quickly put on his clothes and ran from his house in the direction of jungwon's.

+×+

the night was hot and jake knew that his boyfriend always left his window open whenever it was warm outside. it was a bad habit he tried to wean him away from, especially because the younger's room was on the ground floor and it was so easy to break.

just like he did in that moment.

he ran all the way from his house to the other's, he was covered in sweat, his boner still uncomfortably hard in his pants. all he wanted was to finally fuck his pretty omega.

he stood in the middle of the younger's room, looking at his sleeping figure. he came closer until he was just next to his bed.

jungwon looked beautiful. jake always knew he was lucky, yang was one of the most beautiful creations on the entire planet. so many alphas wanted him, but he chose jake.

jake who was going to hurt him. who already hurt him so many times. jake who manipulated him into thinking he's nothing, just a weak living, who would never manage alone.

shim made him lose all of the bits of self love and confidence he had left. tried to make him his perfect doll and he almost achieved it.

almost.

because jungwon still had some of the stubbornness left, something that jake hated, but kept trying to change.

this was just another lesson to show yang that he didn't have much to say, he's his alpha's property.

jake got onto his boyfriend's bed and sat between his legs. he put his hands on the younger's naked thighs. he was sleeping in his boxers and jake's oversized shirt, his belly sticking out more than usual.

the view angered shim. he didn't want to think about it, about his responsibilities, he only wanted to fulfill his desire and get rid of the pain which was building in his stomach.

he felt his breath quicken again, he decided to avoid looking at the omega's tummy, focusing on his face instead.

he quickly grabbed the hem of jungwon's underwear and in one swift motion took it off, opening his legs even more so he had a lot of space. he licked his lips at the view.

yang's hole looked so tight, like he never was fucked before. the rim was glistening with a little bit of slick and jake couldn't help himself but taste it.

he moaned when the liquid reached his taste buds, it was so sweet, sweeter than before. he sucked at the rim looking up to see his boyfriend's reaction. jungwon was still sleeping peacefully, not knowing that he's being used.

the thought was making jake's alpha go feral. all he wanted was to dive into him and fuck him until he passes away from exhaustion.

he quickly took his pants off and placed the head of his cock against the younger's rim, but before thrusting his hips he decided to lean towards jungwon's face and start leaving wet kisses on his cheeks and jaw. there were his favorite parts of his boyfriend. his chubby cheeks he loved to kiss and squeeze between his fingers and his strong jaw which became soft every time the younger ate a little bit more than usual.

jungwon stirred before his eyes fluttered open. he seemed surprised to see someone above him. jake felt his boyfriend's scent spike with fear, but it came away as fast as yang understood it was only his boyfriend.

"j-jake hyung? what are you doing here?" he asked, his voice heavy with sleep.

shim didn't answer, instead he thrusted his hips, filling jungwon with his entire length. the younger opened his eyes and mouth widely, ready to scream, but jake's hand on his face made it impossible for him.

his eyes momentarily filled with tears as yun quickened his pace not paying attention to his boyfriend's fear and pain.

jungwon felt like a ragdoll, like he wasn't a human being, he was only something to use, breed and then leave alone covered in tears and blood. he heard jake heaving into his ear until he started whispering.

"you ruined everything for us jungwon. i could see our future together, i loved you so much, but now i understand that you never loved me as much as i did. you're selfish and stubborn, wanted to ruin my life, take everything from me for your own satisfaction, that's not how good omegas should behave" jake took one of his hands from the younger's waist and tightened it around his neck. he saw red, there was nothing but anger left in his body. "i hate you jungwon, you and this shit i put into you, do you understand? our relationship didn't work because of you, i gave you everything, was loving and understanding, even made up a plan and said i will pay for everything! you're ungrateful, so ungrateful" he wasn't slowing down, his hips only quickened and his hand tightened even more.

he didn't pay attention to anything, but his own pleasure. he wanted to satisfy his alpha, calm his rut a little, before another wave hit.

and maybe, just maybe, if he paid attention to his surroundings he would see how much jungwon struggled to take his hand away from his neck. how panicked he was, because he couldn't breath. how he fought even when his eyes started getting droopy. maybe he would see how his chest stopped rising and falling, how he stopped struggling and making any sound. how he clutched his stomach while his eyes closed and never opened again.

maybe he would see something, but he was too busy with chasing his release.

because shim jaeyun was never nothing more than a selfish alpha.

he was the one who was stubborn and ungrateful. selfish. even a little bit naive. he was the bad person all this time, but he would never admit it.

because in his own mind he was the greatest.

when he finally spilled his cum into his boyfriend, breeding him nicely, locking them together with his knot, his mind was finally getting clearer. he threw his head back and stilled his hips. his hands stopped clutching so frantically around jungwon.

he smirked and leaned forward again to leave a sweet kiss on his boyfriend's lips, who, surprisingly, didn't react. jake stepped back a little just to look at jungwon's face.

he looked like he was asleep. shim frowned, there was no way yang could fall asleep in a situation like this. his breath started getting faster, he felt panic building inside of him.

"jungwon?" he whispered and brought his hand to the younger's cheek. it was wet from all the tears and saliva and it was so pale. "jungwon do you hear me?" he asked, anxiety coating his voice. "please, stop playing with me right now, it's not funny."

jake leaned closer and put his ear against the younger's mouth. he couldn't feel any air escaping yang's lips and his chest wasn't moving.

"fuck" he muttered under his breath, looking at won's face again. "baby? you can't do that to me, come on" he said and started shaking jungwon's body, hoping it would change anything. "i was just kidding baby, i don't hate you! i-i love you! the m-most… i love you the most, that's right, please, wake up, baby…" he felt tears on his cheeks, but didn't care enough to wipe them. "you know what? i-i will take care of you and the b-baby! our cute little baby, jungwon… just please wake up! i'm going to find a job, college can wait, i-i will be the best father! just please wake up, i'm begging you jungwon" he whispered frantically and didn't stop shaking his body.

he knew it won't work. jungwon was dead. he killed him. he killed his own omega. shame, hatred and anger started to flow into his body, adrenaline quickly leaving.

"everything is your fault!" he screamed and swinged his arm, lending a punch to jungwon's stomach which was still covered by the shirt.

he started to punch yang's unconscious body like it was a punching bag, screaming how much he hated the creature inside his boyfriend's body, how much he regretted even letting won have a choice instead of just taking him to the clinic.

it was everyone's else fault, but not his. shim jaeyun was never at fault, he was the victim.

the punches were getting more and more aggressive when he suddenly heard someone coming into the hallway. he panicked.

he quickly stopped and planted one last kiss on his boyfriend's pretty lips.

because yang jungwon looked beautiful even when he was dead.

"i love you jungwon" he whispered and got up as fast as possible.

he put on his pants, but didn't even have time to fasten the button. he got out through the same window, he saw a glimpse of jungwon's mother before he started to run away.

he only hoped she didn't recognize him.

when he finally came back to his home he realized that he wasn't sad because he killed the younger, that was the last thing his mind focused on. he was scared for his reputation. he hoped no one saw him and he would never have to bear the consequences.

because shim jaeyun never did.

+×+

"jake? do you want to say something?" he heard jungwon's mom asking.

he looked up at her and met her red eyes. she was crying non-stop for the past week. started when she found her dead son in his own bed and didn't stop since. he felt just a little guilty.

he looked around and saw everyone looking at him with the same sympathetic look everyone was giving him since the news about his boyfriend's death became public.

he gulped, but nodded his head. he stood up from the uncomfortable chair he was sitting all the time, listening to everyone else's speeches. he took another deep breath, readjusted his tie and went to stand in the middle of the room. he could feel everyone looking at him, he felt uncomfortable.

"jungwonnie… beautiful little jungwonnie" he started, talking more to himself than everyone else. "he was known for his kindness and good heart. he was always ready to help when someone needed help, he was so selfless, always caring more about others more than himself" he chuckled. "he was so brave, i don't think i would be able to survive in this cruel world as an omega, but he did, for so long. he was stronger than anyone i ever knew. he taught me so much. he taught me how to love, how to take care of others. he made me a good human, i don't know where i would be if it wasn't for him. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, i wanted to look at his beautiful face until i'm locked in my own grave" he turned around to face the coffin where his boyfriend's body was laying. "i love you jungwonnie, my baby, my sunshine" he whispered, but loud enough to make sure everyone heard. "i promise that this… monster will pay for everything. he will pay for killing the love of my life and… and my baby" he took another deep breath and when he saw jungwon's mother wiping her eyes, he made a show of wiping his own.

he straightened and bowed to everyone who was looking at him with so much sadness. he came back to his chair and listened to the speeches of the rest of the family, still making sure to wipe his dry cheeks from time to time.

he was such a liar.

+×+

he didn't stay after the funeral was over, he refused when jungwon's mother asked him if he would eat dinner with them. he actually felt guilty looking at the woman and her husband. the fact that she looked so similar to jungwon didn't help.

he was standing in front of the cemetery, a cigarette in his hand. he was observing everyone getting into their cars and leaving, moving on with their lives.

he chuckled to himself and looked at the flowers jungwon's mother gave him at the beginning. they were the younger's favorites, violets. jake could still remember when he bought them for his boyfriend every day when they just started dating.

he took the last inhale from the cigarette he was still holding and went to the closest trash can to throw it away together with the bouquet.

as if nothing ever happened he started walking in the direction of his own house.

he just hoped jungwon was happier now.

**Author's Note:**

> i'd really love to get some feedback on this one ♡
> 
> [ twt♡](https://twitter.com/kittyboykiki?s=09)  
> [ cc♡](https://curiouscat.me/kittyboykiki)


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